I have a secret admirer…who is not so secret. Look at what I received in the mail over the weekend:
It may appear to simply be an autographed head shot of one Micky Dolenz of The Monkees. However, this was an UNSOLICITED autographed head shot of one Micky Dolenz of The Monkees. As in, I did not request or purchase this. It just appeared in my mailbox over Valentine’s weekend.
For those of you who may not know, there are few things in this world I adore more than The Monkees. I have a whole category on my blog devoted to them if you feel the need to explore my love affair any further. But the only thing you really need to know for now is that my very first real crush as a nine-year-old girl was Micky Dolenz.
And finally, after all these years, I seem to have caught his eye. It can be the only explanation for this little love note that was “coincidentally” sent to me on the holiday of romance.
Initially, I had a feeling this gesture had my husband written all over it. Not only has he been more supportive of my amorous feelings for another man than a husband probably should be, but he also loves to take advantage of it to prank me. Like the time we were selling our first house, and he went to the extreme measure of opening up the email account of email@example.com so he could send me a message pretending to be my favorite drummer…who just HAPPENED to be in town looking for houses for his daughter who would be going to college in our city…and who just HAPPENED to have visited OUR open house…and who just HAPPENED to have noticed my extensive Monkees music collection…and who just HAPPENED to want to meet up with me for coffee before he left town since he loves chatting with loyal fans. Yeah. That email happened. And I sat there, heart racing, feeling a mixture of sheer exhilaration and realistic disbelief. Just as I was about to let myself fall over the precipice into full-on freak out mode, the sudden realization that the specific Dolenz daughter mentioned in the email was not college-aged, coupled with the date of April 1, brought a dramatic deflation to my ballooning hopes. And I immediately knew who the culprit was. I will admit, it was an April Fool’s joke deserving of the history books.
And considering every now and again, I receive flirtatious emails from firstname.lastname@example.org, petitioning me to leave my husband and run away to California, I naturally suspect any random and unexpected Monkee solicitation to be just another attempt by my other half to poke fun at my fanaticism. That is exactly what I figured this autographed photo was, ESPECIALLY since it was Valentine’s Day. While my husband did at first try to claim credit, he finally admitted he had absolutely no part in it.
So the only next logical assumption would be that after enduring years of fictitious plays for my heart, the real Micky Dolenz is vying for my attention. After all, we have actually met on several occasions in the past few years, and I am a girl who knows how to make an impression. I mean, there was the first time I met him when I abandoned all opportunities to be cool by asking for a hug and telling him he “makes my heart so happy.” (It still makes me gag thinking about it.) And then there was that other time after the 2012 concert in Cleveland when I actually, maybe, possibly had a shot at having a small, intelligent conversation with the man, and I instead clumsily told him, “Your performance of Porpoise Song sounded better than the record,” and then pretty much walked away. (And hello, Kelly. He didn’t need me to tell him that. Dude knows he’s got killer pipes and performs like a boss.) And then there was that final time at MonkeeCon last year when I was TOO cool for words and remained silent while he signed something for me. How could he NOT be enchanted with the siren who is Kelly Suellentrop?
So Micky, I am incredibly flattered by your advances. Hopefully you won’t take it too hard when I tell you I am happily married. I couldn’t wait around for you forever, after all. And spending my life with a man who is pretty incredible himself AND who also sends me love notes pretending to be you makes me feel like I hit the double jackpot…the best of reality and fantasy.
However, Mr. Dolenz, I do return the cryptic sentiment in your message to me. My conversation heart stamped with “Cool” will always belong to you.
*Note: After writing this post, the true sender of the autographed photo made herself known. It turns out, my friend Natalie stumbled upon a contest to win the personalized head shot. And instead of entering herself, she wrote about why I deserved to win:
“I saw the contest for the autographed photo and something told me to enter. I know you asked to tell you why we should get the photo, but I’d much rather tell you why my friend Kelly should get the photo.
Kelly grew up with The Monkees, just like I did. We have both spent 30+ years each as faithful fans. As young fans we spent our hard-earned allowances to buy cassettes and magazines featuring our favorite boys. Growing up, I didn’t know any other Monkees fans. After a sad loss in my life in 2011, I saw that the Monkees were performing near me on my birthday. I took it as a sign. I went to one more show after that where I was blessed to meet this amazing gal Kelly, whose warmth and generosity still stop me in my tracks. I found a kindred spirit who helps make me a better person just by being my friend.
Kelly loves Micky. I mean LOVES Micky. I’m surprised she didn’t come up with the site I Love Micky Dolenz! Kelly says that Micky makes her heart happy. I know that feeling.”
So it turns out, I have something going for me even better than the affections of Micky Dolenz. I have one selfless and amazing friend.