Ode To My New Dishwasher

We have had our new dishwasher for exactly one week. My 20-year-old self would find me incredibly lame because, well, it has probably been the highlight of the last seven days…even taking into account the facts that I had a frosty from Wendy’s on Monday AND I allowed myself to buy the double-stuffed Oreos instead of the reduced-fat ones at the grocery store on Thursday. I know. Just add this to the list of things I never said when I was twenty-four.

After telling Michael almost every day to NOT stand on the dishwasher door, we let him jump on the old one all he wanted while we waited for the new one to be delivered.

So yeah, this new dishwasher is pretty rad, mostly because I don’t have to pre-rinse the dishes before I put them in. That’s right. No cleaning my dishes by hand in order to have them cleaned by a machine. I have to say I was a little skeptical when my brother-in-law Ryan told us that is what we could expect when we asked him his opinion on which dishwasher we should buy. Ryan is a contractor, and an incredibly talented one, so we trust his judgement. You can check out his work at McCarthy Design + Build (…and then go ahead and give him some business. My two nieces could probably make a living off of being so darn cute, but we would all prefer they go to college). But I still thought that surely a dishwasher couldn’t be THAT good. But it is. It even got off dried-on smoothie, which was my old dishwasher’s mortal enemy.

So out of gratitude for this simple pleasure in life, I give you “Ode To My New Dishwasher:”

I thought no pre-rinsing was only true in fairy tales                                                         Meant for rich people, but not for me                                                                        Detergent spots were out to get me (duh-doo-doo-doo-doo)                                       Baked-on food too (duh-doo-doo-doo-doo)                                                            Rewashing forks haunted all my dreams

Then I got my Bosch                                                                                                          Now I’m a believer                                                                                                                Not a speck                                                                                                                           Of peanut butter on my knives                                                                                              My dishes are clean (ooooooooo ahhhhhhh)                                                                       I’m a believer, I couldn’t clean it better with my hands

But for the record, I still hate doing dishes. I’ll write a novella about the dishwasher that can remedy that.