It’s Time to Close the Internet. Everything Has Already Been Written.

Shut it down, folks. There’s nothing more to see here.

The other day, a friend of mine was asking me how I keep up my blogging pace (which in comparison to many bloggers, two posts a week is pretty measly). She wondered if I had a stockpile of pre-written posts. While I have had grand plans of that for some time, it’s just not how I work. I guess I thrive on pressure in a way. What I DO have is little notes or beginnings of blogs that I write down when ideas pop into my head. But sometimes, before I have the chance to fully develop one of these ideas, I find someone else has already done it, and oftentimes, done it better. Like the time I had this really fabulous idea to write an open letter to open letter writers. It was to begin like this:

Dear Open Letter Writers,

You don’t know me. Hence, the open letter. If I actually knew you in real life, I’d invite you out to coffee, look you in the eye, and very quietly, very politely ask, “For the love of Paul to the Colossians, could you please close the letters? Just close them.” It would just be between you and me. Not between you and me and everyone who shares it on Facebook, Twitter, and whatever other social networks people use that I’m obviously not hipster enough to care about. Because technically, if you have something to say to just one person, it’s really nobody else’s business.

Then, in the midst of writing this post, I came across this “Open Letter to…Open Letters” by Stuart Heritage. Not only did he beat me to the punch, even making his own Bible-reference zinger, but it was absolutely funnier than mine would have been. So I just abandoned my efforts altogether and moved onto something else.

It is hard for bloggers to feel like we are providing something read-worthy all the time. Original topics just aren’t that abundant. Chances are someone, somewhere out in the vast internet wasteland, has already committed that brilliant idea you just thought of to a blog or a webpage. And before that, it was probably committed to a newspaper opinion column or a real book with a spine. And before that, it was probably committed to parchment paper. And before that, stone tablet. And before that, oral tradition.

However, while there are very few truly NEW ideas out there, I have come to appreciate those bloggers who are able to tell the same old stories in ways that entertain me like I never have been before. Bloggers who are able to put their own unique imprint on a universal topic. And bloggers who just make me laugh at life. If you make me laugh, you can come to my party anytime.

wordpressfamilyawardLast week, the very charming MindfulMagpie nominated me for the “WordPress Family Award.” (For those of you who aren’t bloggers, WordPress is the blog-hosting site which I, and many other totally rad people, use). Basically the award honors the community that is built by interacting with fellow bloggers. I have been lucky to “meet” quite a few fantastic folks who not only support me in my own blogging adventures, but also entertain me with their own brands of sincerity, hilarity, and charity. One of those people is MindfulMagpie herself. She not only has one of my favorite blog titles, but the no-nonsense yet carefree tone she speaks from makes me certain she would be someone I would dig in real life. And considering how many of the photos from her latest vacation post included the enjoyment of a beer, I might just make her bartender at my party. Mags, I thank you very sincerely for naming me as part of your WordPress family.

But the best part of this award is that it gives me a chance to recognize some of the bloggers I love reading, and who have been wonderful online friends to me. I’m glad they keep the internet open so I can visit these folks as often as possible:

1. The Waiting: Anyone who has been following my blog knows that Emily and I have basically proposed marriage to each other on numerous occasions, and I’m sure you all are getting tired of our PDA. But I not only value Emily for her insane writing skills and her ability to make me laugh while touching my heart at the same time. I also value that when I first came to her blog and started commenting, she welcomed me into her already established tribe of bloggers. Through her, I found many others to follow and befriend. Before her, my blogging social life was pretty dull. But now the two of us are partying every Thursday with our Remember the Time Blog Hop, and this place feels like a non-exclusive sorority house.

2. Life is Funny (Even When It’s Not)It is hard for me to properly convey how much I LOVE Anna’s blog…mostly because I’m laughing so hard when I read it that I can barely breathe, let alone talk. I simply marvel at the unbridled humor she finds in life. And I am overwhelmed by the tremendous support and cheerleading this girl gives me on a consistent basis on both my blog and through Facebook messages. She’s like if Seinfeld and Oprah had a superbaby.

3. Excitement on the SideI recently told Kelly, who writes this blog, that she brings such eloquence to ordinary things. She has a wicked sense of humor, and I love when I see a new post from her in my inbox.

4. Tales from the MotherlandDawn’s tales are very helpful to me, as she had already traveled many of the paths of motherhood I have yet to traverse. And her reflections are laced with humility and wisdom. As icing on the cake, I adore our interactions in the comment section.

5. Sass & BalderdashI’m a Sasshole, and I’m proud of it. Katie has the ability to be both charming and sassy all at once. And I have the feeling if we were ever to meet in real life, she would bring me some Cheesecake Factory, and that’s dope ya’ll.

6. The Mom’s Group: Perfection Pending, Joy & Woe,  I’ll Sleep When They’re Grown, Awesomely Unprepared, Stay At Home Trauma, Murphy Must Have Had Kids, Becoming Cliche, Here’s the DiehlThe Mercenary Researcher, and Imperfect HappinessFirst, I want to thank these ladies for coming up with clever mommy blog titles that don’t involve the words “margarita” or “wine.” Seriously. All of us mom’s aren’t counting down the minutes to happy hour on a daily basis. With that said, when I can’t find the time to grab a drink and vent with my real life momma friends, I know I can visit any one of these blogs and feel reassured that I’m not screwing up this whole parenting thing. And by calling them “mommy blogs,” that does not mean that they only post about their kids. Only that they are all moms, who also write about other aspects of their lives..because damn it, we’re women with interests, hobbies, ideas, and careers, too.

7. Daddy Duty: Snoozing on the Sofa, Stuphblog, & Squatch Makes Three, and Holding Together the JelloHere’s the thing…dads are hilarious. And I enjoy these guys in particular. Maybe you can all do me a solid as well, and help me convince Ande over at & Squatch Makes Three to start posting more often again. I get it, Ande. I do. There’s that whole raising a child thing and making a living thing and being a husband thing. But I miss your Squatch updates, and more than anything, I miss your hilarious comments. To the other three gentlemen, good work. Carry on.

8. My New Friends: Growing Up on Prytania, Lame Adventures, ThisBestLife,  Ginger’s Grocery, Mended Musings, Never ImitateSomething of a Dreamer, and Drama Happens: I think I “met” all of these folks through either being Freshly Pressed or the RTT Blog Hop. And they’ve all stuck around so far, and I immensely enjoy their company.

9. The Tried and True: The Kovies, Sistersara’s Blog, Snide Reply, My Aha’s, Dances Like a White Girl and ColeminingMost of these guys have been with me since the beginning days of my blog and/or are very loyal readers. And I am immensely grateful that they’ve been traveling along with me. Getting likes or comments from them is like it’s coming from an old friend (just ignore the fact that White Girl at Dances Like a White Girl and Shannon at My Aha’s are actually real life friends of mine.) And I’m so proud of Janice at Snide Reply for starting up a new blog called Crazy Good Parent, a resource for parents struggling with various forms of mental illness.

10. Blogs So Big They Don’t Need My Puny Award, But I Want To Proclaim My Love For Them No Less: Pile of Babies and RarasaurI am not even 100% sure that Pile of Babies is a WordPress blog, but I’m giving Meredith a WordPress shout out anyway. Because she’s the sh*t. And Rara over at Rarasaur is pretty much the Queen of WordPress, so I don’t know that this award would even exist without her.


Basically, I just wanted to thank the above bloggers for making WordPress a shiny, happy place to store my words. And those of you not mentioned (mostly because you’re not bloggers or not WordPress bloggers or are sneaky, stealthy readers who visit and leave no trace of having been here…or I erroneously forgot you because I don’t write my posts in advance; therefore it is now after midnight and I just want to get this damn thing finished so I can go to bed), I’m making up an award to give to you as well: The Gee You’re Swell Let’s All Group Hug Award. 

group hug award
If you post this poorly made badge on your blog, I will laugh at you.

I will not instruct anyone nominated to pass along the award (either the legit WordPress one or my hastily made bogus one) or even acknowledge it, unless you want to. Because by mentioning you, all it really means is that I appreciate the time you spend here, and I enjoy whatever time I spend on your respective blogs.

And for the love of God, can we all agree to stop writing open letters? Thank you.

Don’t forget that I have a GIVEAWAY going on now through November 17th. Check it out HERE!

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40 thoughts on “It’s Time to Close the Internet. Everything Has Already Been Written.

  1. Thanks so much for the recognition, you are so kind! I am looking forward to exploring the blogs you’ve mentioned. It’s always fascinating to me that someone can share an idea yet write from a different perspective than my own…that’s the uniqueness of us all.


  2. Charming and sassy? That’s one of the nicest things anyone’s ever written about me. I absolutely would bring cheesecake from the Cheesecake Factory–you know me too well.

    Now I have like ten new blogs I need to check out, because if you like them, they have to be great.

    PS: We may have to agree to disagree about the open letters. Sometimes I like to write a letter addressed to no one in particular, and I’m okay with that!


    1. Fair enough. And to be honest, I’d probably love your open letters. Because they’d be sassy and all.

      And yes, there is some good writing on here. Mostly, I just wanted to have one of those little love fests where I give shout outs to peeps who hang around here so I don’t feel like I’m just talking to myself. I get overwhelmed by people’s kindness and support sometimes, and I’d probably blog about it all the time if over-thanking wasn’t totally annoying.


  3. Thanks very much for the kind mention. And especially for the lack of homework that comes with it. This is the perfect form of recognition for the lazy man. I shall wallow in it, and probably fall asleep doing so.


  4. Hey! So neat to see little ol’ Drama Happens up there! Thanks friend! Congrats on your award! So glad I blog-met you. 🙂 Off to explore new blogs for the rest of the day now…clearly.


  5. I am so insanely happy to have met you through blogging. You came into my blogging life right when I needed my sails filled, and every day I appreciate your encouragement and wonderful sense of humor more. Thank you, Kelly, really.

    Also, did you know that Mindful Magpie is not only a wonderful blogger but also one of my favorite people in the whole entire world? She is my best friend’s mom and by extension my own mom as well ;D She even threw C’s baby shower. You would love her, trust me. I’ll get y’all in the same room together some day.


    1. Well, we obvs fill each other’s buckets quite well 😉 And yes, I do think I remember you telling me that about Mindful Magpie! So it would make sense why I like her so much. We gotta get this party planned!


  6. I often think that myself – that everything has been written but it’s the WAY that matters. Thanks for the shout-out…There are so many really talented people out there writing – it’s just so amazing. And you honor me by including me. I’m psyched that we have met and I love that I am familiar with many of the bloggers you mentioned!


  7. Enjoyed this and was pleasantly surprised to see me listed, even at the front of the line no less of ‘new friends’. I am at a very nice point of life where I can finally begin to look in the rearview mirror without feeling I have a giant logging truck getting ready to run me over. You want to know the truth? I HATED English! I was a mathematics major. At 40 I decided to try my hand at song writing and actually wrote a few I’m proud of. I am really enjoying documenting my history and trying to put my own spin on things, but I am still humbled when I read “real writing” by people like you. You have a nice gift and you make me laugh. I have few friends, but those I have, I nurture and we laugh like we’re crazy. I suspct you are crazy…that is the highest compliment I can dish out to a virtual friend. Keep on writing – I am reading.



    1. Thank you, kind sir. And I would like to point out the fact that a math man has come to “the dark side” in his wiser years just proves what I always knew to be true in my heart: Words trump numbers :p Thanks for tagging along with me and giving me some great Wonder Years-esque real life stories to read.


  8. Thank you, Kelly, this is so awesome! So many of the bloggers you mentioned are my faves, and so I’m thrilled to be checking out the ones I don’t already know. Yay! You are so kind.

    And, queen of WP – ha! That’s both hilarious and frightening. 😀


  9. Ok, so I blew it. I did not, in fact, get to reading blogs yesterday! In fact, I still have 20 left in my inbox!! I am training to work at Hospice, just was voted to a board (for an org. that works to support women and children who have faced sexual violence), and I’m not treading water as well as usual!

    Thanks so much for including me in your illustrious (or possibly nefarious… both words are cool) group! I am deeply honored and, as you said, humbled… further. 😉 You deserve this award, because your blog is always fun and witty.

    Ok, perhaps you and Emily’s PDA is a little gag worthy, or maybe we’re all just jealous. I can’t speak for others. I am a little embarrassed now that I wrote that Open Letter to My (Almost) Adult Children… but, in my defense, they don’t listen to me if I say it quietly. And, they all really liked it. My daughter even wrote me a letter back… which she gave me permission to post. Hmmm. I may do it someday, too.

    This is a fabulous post, and I would have been happy to just read it… but being included, well, I am going to bed with a big old smile on my humble face! xo


    1. As I told you before, I don’t think anyone needs to feel bad about not keeping up with reading blogs. As you have exemplified, we all have lives outside of blogging and important things to do. If I read as much as I wanted, I would be a horrible parent. Priorities 🙂

      And okay, okay…Emily and I will cool it on the PDA. And I certainly wasn’t talking about YOUR open letter, because that one was amazing. Mostly I just get tired of people who use that format to spout their self-righteous bashing of someone else…which is how it is usually used. So maybe I should have put a disclaimer on that. Or maybe I should have just said I’m tired of self-righteous bashing blogging 🙂 I personally would love to see your daughter’s response to that letter. As I said, I’m watching you carefully and taking notes 🙂

      You certainly deserved to be named with this bunch of folks. Glad we have been able to connect, and thank you for your kind compliments. As always.


  10. I thought I left a comment here yesterday but don’t see it. “You’re friggin awesome” was my comment. This is (I assume) how it feels to be one of the first children chosen for kickball.


    1. ha! I wouldn’t know. I was never chosen first. In fact, I sucked so bad at kickball that I actually fractured my wrist trying to catch a pop fly. Seriously. A rubber kickball cause a break in my bone. That may be a future blog post 🙂

      And hey, you’re friggin’ awesome as well!


  11. Damn, I have hit the big time! I feel like I am having lunch with the cool kids and I am struggling not to go all Sally Field on you. In all sincerity – thanks for the shout out, lady. 🙂


    1. Any dimension where I am considered one of the cool kids is one I wouldn’t mind spending some time in 🙂 And I don’t know how “big time” I am, but you certainly deserve recognition from anyone reading your blog. Because it’s the


  12. Kelly!!! I missed this Tuesday for an array of reasons that don’t amount to anything … and you just made my morning so happy! Thank you x100 for including me in this QUITE STELLAR list … it means the world to me 🙂 Thanks for not mentioning how often I ask you questions neither of us can answer and end the email with, “Well, that was a productive talk!” LOL. I value you greatly and love your blog like crazy. Thank you for being who you are 🙂


  13. Big smiles this morning having been included in your lovely list! As much as I love exploring new blogs, sometimes the vast world of wordpress is kind of overwhelming, so I sincerely appreciate not only being included in your round-up, but the suggestions of other amazing people to read and follow in addition to your own hilarity! (bahaha, nice Luke Bryan lyrics reference) You’re so sweet, thank you!


    1. I’m with you on that. When I first started blogging, I had no clue how to find other blogs I enjoyed. It felt like an impossible task. So I always appreciate when someone I like reading has suggestions. And people would not be disappointed with your blog, funny lady!!! I’m a sucker for anyone who makes me laugh!


  14. I could have sworn I commented on this way back when but I must have imagined it. I’m so enjoying checking out all of your links and am humbled to be mentioned 🙂


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