Hallmark, Shmallmark. I Got Your Real Valentines Right Here

I just spent a mind-numbing half hour helping my son sign eighteen valentine cards for his classmates. Even he was getting bored, evident by his increasingly lax standards of how to make the letters in his name: “This is a different way to make a ‘C,’ Mom.” Looks good to me, buddy. No one is going to pay much attention to your valentine anyway since mom here went the cheap-o route this year and got the ones that don’t come with any candy.

kids valentine cards
The slow deterioration of good penmanship

who is the fifth guy in nsyncI don’t care much about Valentine’s Day. It’s not that I dislike it; I am just completely apathetic toward it. Valentine’s Day is like the fifth guy from *NSync in the world of holidays…you know, the one that’s not Justin Timberlake, Joey Fatone, Lance Bass, or JC Chavez. You don’t mind that it’s there, but you also wouldn’t really notice if it wasn’t. (And since I spent a ridiculous amount of time deciding which holidays the other guys would be, please indulge this small tangent: Timberlake is totally the Thanksgiving-Christmas-New Year’s triplet threat. Fatone is Halloween; goofy, fun, and you know he has some mad skills for trading bad jokes for candy. Bass, he’s a firework who lets his colors burst like the Fourth of July. And just like the Easter Bunny tries to be as cool as Santa, Chavez ain’t no Timberlake. Now back to the point.)

I am not the only one in my house who feels this way about Valentine’s day. My husband has made a declaration that I never have to buy him a card as long as we live. He thinks they are a racket. In fact, he doesn’t want me to get him anything for Valentine’s day…well, anything that costs money. Wink, wink. (*eye roll*) But we always feel the need to help the kids put something together for one another. I have to be honest. Despite the fact that we know we all love each other, these little tokens of Cupid feel a little forced and trite. For example, my daughter informed me today that she was going to write a poem for everyone in our family: “Roses are red, Violets are blue, Happy Valentine’s Day, I love you.” (Members of our family, I am so sorry to ruin the surprise.) Forced. Trite.

What my kids don’t know is that they give me little valentines all year long. And this is what they look like in my head:

real valentines
AHA! They DO really love each other!
kids valentines
I adore the little notes Grace leaves for me all the time
kids valentines
True stories.
kids valentines
I die from cuteness.
kids valentines
I will mold her into my tiny clone. *maniacal laugh*
kids valentines
He also realized we don’t live in a barn and actually closed the door.
kids valentines
No words necessary

That means the pressure is off for Valentine’s Day. I already have everything I need; and I am pretty sure the rest of my family does, too. So we can instead enjoy the fun of Mardi Gras today and properly stuff our faces for Fat Tuesday. And then tomorrow on Ash Wednesday we can realize that all the crap we ate today might lead to that whole “to dust you shall return” thing happening just a wee bit sooner than later. But at least we won’t have to worry about last-minute Valentine gifts.

However,  maybe someone should send something to that fifth guy from *NSync. This is his holiday after all.


6 thoughts on “Hallmark, Shmallmark. I Got Your Real Valentines Right Here

  1. Love! The “valentines” from the kids are so sweet and perfect. And the tangent assigning holidays to the guys of Nsync — genius! 🙂


  2. Too Cute!! And you artistic side meets your writer side!
    I was just going out to buy you guys sometime for Valentine’s day and I am too late for Fat Tuesday. Oh well, Happy Lent!


  3. I was so excited to do Valentine’s cards with my kids for their friends in school. I had my daughter pick out the card she wanted to give one girl, then the tattoo that should go with it, then write a “C” for the girl’s name. That took about 10 minutes. I realized we had 16 more kids to go, then I had to do a whole other set with my son. So I just turned on the TV for the kids and did the cards myself.


    1. I know. It’s such a pain. And an even bigger one with two kids. Thankfully, my seven-year-old can do it all by herself, including assembly (she had tattoos as well. Which makes me wonder…who decided that temporary tattoos were awesome things for kids? Because nothing makes me more annoyed than getting my daughter dressed up in some nice dress with matching tights and bow, then noticing 3/4 of a tattoo of a unicorn that says “sparkle” smack in the middle of her forearm. Classy). And my son’s preschool has helped us parents out by asking that each child only sign his/her name on the valentine and not address them to anyone…since none of them can read anyway. Apparently, just writing his name is too much work for Michael. Luckily, I stopped caring if anyone could read who it was from. They will all end up in the trash anyway.


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