Take That Bowl Off Your Head…Oh Wait, That’s Your Hair

I have had more than my fair share of bad hair moments. But my worst one lasted for three years. Luckily, my yearbook photos from second, third, and fourth grades are still around to make sure it goes down in the annals of history. Or the annals of something.

My mom blames it on our hairdresser Ruth Ann. She claims that the woman who was in charge of our tresses convinced her that her seven-year-old should stop sporting that tired old bow-on-the-side-of-the-head preciousness and get down with the latest in 80’s fashion: the bowl cut. In hindsight, considering most of Ruth Ann’s clients were over the age of 60, we probably shouldn’t have trusted her as having the pulse on what was hip. (Come to think of it, the bowl cut has the perfect dimensions to fit under one of those salon chair dryers. Hmmmm.)

What resulted was this second grade yearbook photo:

That's a human bobble-head if I've ever seen one.
That’s a human bobble-head if I’ve ever seen one.

Now, either my mother secretly hated me or was temporarily blind from 1985-1987, because the bowl cut stuck around for two more years. But apparently all the curling iron action that had to happen to give it that perfect rounded edge was just too daunting for a third grader, and I ended up with more of a limp, bowl cut wannabe coif:

Not to be outdone by the bowl cut, my cowlick made itself front and center this year.
Not to be outdone by the bowl cut, my cowlick made itself front and center this year.

That’s not all that bad, you say. It almost tricks you into thinking I had started growing “the bowl” out. But chances are my mom just didn’t have time to take me to Ruth Ann’s before picture day…because come fourth grade yearbook picture time, “the bowl” was back with a vengeance:

Hey there, little headband bow. I see what you're trying to do there. You're trying to make it look like I have a normal haircut. I really do appreciate it. But now it just looks like I'm wearing one of those cutesy, hand-decorated bowls you get at boutique shops on my head.
Hey there, little headband bow. I see what you’re trying to do there. You’re trying to make it look like I have a normal haircut. I really do appreciate it. But now it just looks like I’m wearing one of those cutesy, hand-decorated bowls you get at boutique shops on my head.

Approximately one-third of my grade school yearbook pictures were photobombed by the bowl cut. Fortunately, fourth grade was the last year for that travesty. Unfortunately, I moved on to poof bangs in fifth grade.

But I think our eyes have had enough for one day. You.are.welcome.rubiks cube

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You can steal me and use me as your own
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32 thoughts on “Take That Bowl Off Your Head…Oh Wait, That’s Your Hair

  1. How come you don’t show the other kids’ haircuts that were equally as ugly? I think I was brain dead your 2nd grade year, but the others weren’t that bad considering what others had. So sorry I listened to Grandma and Ruth Ann! If I really had my way, you would have had the side bow for all those years 😉 BUT, your clothes were always cute unless you wanted some gaggy trendy thing.

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  2. While I was not lucky enough to sport a bowl-cut back in the day, my sister-in-law had one to the Nth degree. And she so desperately wanted long hair that she used to put turtlenecks on her head and whip them around like they were really long, beautiful tresses. You guys can unite in your anguish:)

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    1. Ha! There did seem to be a rash of bad hairdressers in the 80’s. However I think my crooked bangs happened because I have a cowlick that we clearly did not know how to work with. Thanks for your comment!

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  3. Confession: I actually really wanted a bowl cut back when I was a kid, but I got a Barbie and the Rockers perm instead. I don’t even know. You were adorable despite Ruth Ann’s “styling.”

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    1. I LOVE BARBIE AND THE ROCKERS!!!!! My sister had Barbie and I had Dana…and we had the stage. Dude and I still remember the theme song: “Barbie and the Rockers. We’re so cool we’re totally in the groove (in the groove!)…with Barbie, Dee Dee, Derek, and Dana tooooooooo!” Oh man. Sorry for that geek out. And you don’t have to lie. I was not adorable…I am fully okay with it. I had to “grow into” quite a lot of myself.

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  4. I didn’t link up – because the story is not of a “remember when” type – but the picture on my newest post…. you might just enjoy it…… especially if you thought a bowl cut was bad………. that ain’t got NOTHIN’ on my fourth grade “look!”

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  5. Omg! lol!!! I did laugh at this one! My mum used to put sellotape on my forehead to cut my fringe. On the odd occasion, the sellotape was put on wonky, so I had a wonky fringe! Then I had a mullet!!!!! So eighties – but this stayed with me until the early nineties!! Oh the joys of historical hair!!!

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  6. My hair was too curly for a bowl cut… and some called it a Dorothy Hamill, right? I imagine there were lots of other girls sporting that look right about then… Love the humor here, and the way you bring us into your world, with Ruth Ann and your mom. Nice work!

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