You know how sometimes you call up a friend just to say hey? Well, that’s kind of all this is. Hey!

I didn’t get a real blog post written this week because I spent too much time binge watching Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt* on Netflix and shopping online for a new area rug after my husband casually mentioned he thought it might be time for a new one. And casually mentioning something like that translates in my head as, “Kelly, I think you should IMMEDIATELY drop everything and spend hours looking at area rugs until you find the perfect one that matches our current decor, but adds just a pop of a new color that we also need new throw pillows for the couch and possibly a new chair. But don’t tell me you’re also shopping for a new chair. Just put a few different options in your wish list basket. And then after we have lived with the new area rug for a month or so and really love it, mention to me that now our chair doesn’t really match the whole new vibe we have going on here. And then I’ll have to say ‘whatever, get a new chair’ …because if you don’t satisfy your obsessive and ongoing need to make over something, you’ll turn your attention to my wardrobe and, damn it, I like my t-shirts from high school with the holes in the armpits.”

In case you were wondering, the winning rug came from Target (because, duh…Target. My house is practically allergic to anything that DOESN’T come from Target.) I’m expecting it any day now. I think the UPS guy thinks I’m kind of into him because of the way I longingly stare in his direction when I hear the truck on our street. But I only have eyes for the rug. Sorry, dude.

Anyway, since I have nothing of any real entertainment value to offer you on the blog this week, why don’t ya’ll head over to the Huffington Post Comedy section to check out my piece, “Can’t We Just Remember Gwyneth Paltrow for Consciously Uncoupling?” All the recent talk about her food stamp challenge got me nostalgic for her inventive language from last year. Also, it’s not only a funny read, but a practical one: I offer you five things in your everyday life you can consciously uncouple. You can read it HERE.

I also wanted to share this photo my husband took of me at a recent story time event I did at The Book House in St. Louis, because I kind of love it for some reason. It’s not often that I see a picture of me and just really love it. But there is something about this one. I think maybe because for the first time I am able to SEE how I FEEL inside about sharing my book, Absolute Mayhem, with kids.

Those of you who follow me on Facebook, Twitter, or Instagram may have already seen this picture. If you don’t do any of these things, I doubt this photo is making you jump to connect with me on social media. But I do really enjoy connecting with people there…it’s easy and fast and people are funny most of time. So if you want to come join my little party, you’re invited. I may just post a picture of my new area rug. Who wouldn’t want to see that?

Lastly, I’m going to be running a super awesome Mother’s Day giveaway very soon, and I wanted to give you a head’s up. Guys, it involves jewelry made my an incredibly talented friend of mine: Jewelry Made By Maggie. I wear pieces by her almost every day. Anyone subscribed to my mailing list before the giveaway starts will not only get to begin entering it before everyone else, but they will get bonus entries. So if you haven’t already subscribed, now might be a good time. You can do that right HERE…I won’t spam you, on my honor. And I only send out a newsletter once a week…or less.

Other than that, how the heck are ya? What’s going on with you? Seriously, tell me whatever random thing you want in the comment section. I’m always up for a good gab session, and you have my full attention. Unless I hear the UPS truck.

*P.S. Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt is so lovably quirky and funny. I mean, you can’t go wrong with something created by Tina Fey and starring Ellie Kemper. And the woman who turned me onto it is my ridiculously talented friend Mindy, who just started up a new blog called Pop Goes Annabelle Lee. How can you not be intrigued by something with a name like that? If you are a fan of American Horror Story or a mainstream lover of all things horror and paranormal (you know, accountant or carpool mom by day, scary movie aficionado by night…like me), you will love her blog. She also just wrote a guest post about her lineage tracing back to the Boston Tea Party on Key To Your Tree, a blog by Kris Williams of SyFy’s Ghost Hunters fame. Girl’s got mad skills.

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