Hey Smarty Pants…You’re Not So Smart

posted in: Kids, Parenting | 4

Isn’t it annoying when someone tries to unsuccessfully retell an extremely funny joke they heard? Well, get ready to be annoyed, because I’m about to do just that.

So there was this comedian whose name I can’t remember who told this joke I can’t exactly recall that went something like this: A boy and his dad are at the zoo, and the boy asks the name of an animal he sees. The dad says it’s a jaguar. Then the boy says no, it’s a tiger. No, it’s a jaguar. No, it’s a tiger. This argument goes on until the dad questions whom to believe: the one with the college degree or the one who can’t wipe his own butt. I know. I totally butchered it. But I swear it was funny. I even wasted an insane amount of time searching the internet trying to find it. Then I remembered these little things called priorities and decided my Cliff’s Notes version will have to do.

ANYWAY…My husband and I obviously found this to be a hysterical joke, and it was made all the more poignant when we took our own trip to the zoo, pointed out a jaguar to Michael, and he said the words, “No, that’s a tiger.” Ah, life imitating art. I believe this also falls into one of my subcategories of stupid questions asked by my children.

My kids continue to have completely unwarranted confidence in their knowledge about, well, everything. Take our recent trip to the World Bird Sanctuary. The following are exact quotes that were spoken from the lips of Michael:


Other notable quotes:


Me: “Those are Madagascar Hissing Cockroaches.”  

Michael: “No they’re beetles.”


“Pigeons are skinny.” – Michael


It is also worth mentioning that while Michael insisted on wearing a shirt that says “Happy Birthday to Me,” it was most definitely NOT his birthday.

I used to think it was my duty as a mother to correct these misguided thoughts. But I have finally learned it is just easier not to argue…and instead wait for them to repeat one of these “facts” at school and get laughed at by the other kids. That will teach them the truth AND toughen them up at the same time. See what I did there? I just killed two birds with one stone.

No, it’s a rock.

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4 Responses

  1. Kez

    Hehehe this made me laugh 🙂 I would have laughed out loud but the Little Mister is napping and we don’t wanna mess that up! My mum informs me constantly that I was THAT kid and that she can’t wait to see the Little Mister give me a good dose of karma. Eek.

    • kelloggs77

      I’ve been told that a lot of Michael’s behavior is karma payback for my husband…which no one ever conveniently told me about before I procreated with him 😉 Though I’m pretty sure I was guilty of a lot of smarty pants behavior. Hope Little Mister took a good nap!

    • kelloggs77

      Oh no. That’s sad. But I can relate…my husband loves The Bob and Tom show which is always featuring comedians. He gets so enamored with jokes sometimes and wants to share them with me, but I rarely laugh at his retelling. He has finally learned to just find a clip of the joke and play it for me, the way it was meant to be heard.

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