Mostly I am just a mom and a woman trying to finish a thought every now and again. But instead of telling you my boring life story, I am going to try a different route…
25 Random Facts About Me:
1. I am a born and raised Midwestern girl, which does not mean I live on a farm.
2. I know I couldn’t love anyone or anything more than my kids and husband. But cheese is pretty high on the list as well. Chuck E. Cheese, however, not so much.
3. I am a former high school English teacher, a writer at heart, an amateur cake decorator, and pretty much the worst gardener on the planet.
4. Sometimes I get a little too excited about literature. Unless it’s Fifty Shades of Gray.
5. If you challenge me to a Saved By the Bell trivia match, you WILL feel the agonizing shame of defeat.
6. I miss my grandpa…a lot.
7. I was once reading an article about some nuns doing peacekeeping work in Gaza, and for a second, I thought it might be fun to be a nun. Now that’s random.
8. I once saw two punk girls lick the elbows of Davy Jones.
9. My high school mascot was an Angel. The mascot where I taught was a Saint. So I must be a shoe-in for Heaven.
10. I really, really, really wish I could sing and play instruments.
11. As a follow-up to #10, I would also like to go back to the 60’s and become the only female member of The Monkees. Psycho Jello…
12. I am aware that almost no one reading this knows what Psycho Jello is, and that’s okay with me.
13. I like the number 13.
14. When I first saw the Snuggie, I made fun of it relentlessly. Mostly because the commercial suggested that using a regular blanket made holding babies a near impossible task. Now I own a knockoff, which I call the “Sniggie.” And ironically enough, it does make holding babies easier. It’s weird.
15. I was once crowned the “funniest Suellentrop” in an email from one of my husband’s friends, and I’ve been gloating ever since. Let’s just ignore the fact that my only competition was my husband, and he’s really not that funny.
16. I have a hypothetical party to which I invite anyone I happen to think is the bee’s knees. So, like, we’ll be talking about some celebrity, and I will show my approval by saying, “He can come to my party.” My current guest list includes The Monkees (duh…even the ghost of Davy Jones), that Kid President little dude, Monk (Tony Shaloub must come in character), Joel McHale, Ellen Degeneres, Oprah’s best friend Gail, Will Ferrel, Mindy Kaling, Tom Hanks, Bill Geist , the Despicable Me minions, Jimmy Fallon, the Pine-Sol lady, anyone from Drunk History (as long as they are drunk), Cardinal legend Willie McGee, and every cute old man on the planet, preferably wearing golf caps. Jack Bauer from 24 would be the bouncer.
17. I think selective laziness can be an art form.
18. I know all the words to The Wizard of Oz. All.of.them. My daughter was on track to do the same, only with Sleeping Beauty. Nothing is cuter than when she would say, “She shall pwick her finger on the sindle of a sinning wheel and DIE!” But then she discovered Disney tween stars, and suddenly princesses weren’t cool anymore.
19. I never skip pages when I read books to my kids. Seriously.
20. For a thirty-something white girl, I do a commendable Michael Jackson impression. Probably because, according to 6-year-old me, he was my cousin.
21. I have an ironing board, but I don’t use it. I iron clothes on my bed on an as needed basis because, frankly, it’s just more convenient that way.
22. I think my son has the most beautiful eyelashes I’ve ever seen. And that’s not really fair.
23. I have really great friends…I mean, REALLY great.
24. Everyday my goal is to be a better mom, and I’m starting to realize it’s okay to start from scratch some days.
25. I hate snakes…on a plane or otherwise.
Bonus Fact: OH, and I write and illustrate children’s books. For reals. Check me out at kellysuellentrop.com