Kids’ Shows Are Annoying…And They Should Be

Hey moms and dads. I know you know where I’m coming from. It is the background music to the soundtrack of this phase of our lives. I’m talking about kids’ shows. And I believe they fall under the genre of annoying.

But why wouldn’t they be? Their target audience is kids…and to be blunt, kids are annoying.

It is hard not to get irritated with some of these shows. I mean, sometimes I’m really thankful that Max and Ruby teaches my daughter to appreciate the quirks of her little brother, but mostly I just think it’s weird that Max can solve more problems than Ruby and her Bunny Scout troop combined, but can’t put together a two-word sentence. That and the fact that Baby Huffington’s mother finds it perfectly acceptable to leave Baby Huffington alone with a couple kids while she is off, presumably with Max and Ruby’s absent mother, ignoring their children together. 

But I get it. Children find completely irrational situations perfectly acceptable. To them it makes sense that Quincy from Little Einsteins would exclaim “I…can…not…BELIEVE…it!” about a draw bridge going up, but finds animated instruments who communicate to him and his buddies via classical music snippets totally normal. My kid thinks it’s kosher to run around outside in nothing but his underwear, yet looks at me like I have two heads when I suggest he wear a shirt with buttons so he looks nice for his first day of school. He and Quincy sound like two peas in a pod to me.

Still, it’s those little grating voices that really get to parents. We hear them in our heads long after the television has been turned off. I would commit myself if my kid sounded like that. Dora…Brobee…Caillou…(I know. I said the “C” word. I use it because I refuse to give it power.)

Well, guess what? Your kids DO sound like that. Calliou did not spontaneously combust into existence from some incredibly warped imagination who secretly hates procreators, as much as we would like to believe. That kid exists. And he’s probably yours. I know he’s at least a little bit mine. God just implants in us this thing called unconditional love that sometimes blinds us to a certain brand of annoying in our kids. It is fundamental to the continuation of humanity. It’s why other people’s kids are so annoying. They aren’t any more annoying than our own. We’re just not immune to their specific brand of annoying. Which explains why Caillou’s parents are so tickled by his hairless, incessant yammerings, all the while refusing to take that kid to a good speech pathologist.

So we can’t really complain after all. We have brought forth multiple Caillous into this world, and these children must be entertained. And they demand giant purple dinosaurs, grown men singing songs about fruit salad being yummy, a handy man who lets his anthropomorphic tools do all his work, and something called Yo Gabba Gabba.

But I can hold a grudge against them for ruining Mickey Mouse. We get it, Mickey. It’s your clubhouse, and you like everything to be in the shape of your head. But was there really a need for Mickey Park and Mickey Lake? Apparently, years and years of fame have finally turned you into an egomaniacal jerkstore. And just for the record, Toodles creeps me out.

As for the rest of it, our kids will one day outgrow these annoying shows, just like how they will outgrow many of the annoying behaviors that serve as their inspiration. Then they will simply move onto a new set of annoying shows, like [insert Disney Channel tween sitcom of the moment], and a whole new set of annoying behaviors…like making fun of what their parents watch on television. (F.Y.I. Grace, CBS Sunday Morning is NOT an old person show. I bet Charles Osgood is a real swinger on a Saturday night.)

Customers who like this blog also follow me on Facebook, Twitter (@RYouFinishedYet), and Pinterest.

47 Responses

  1. Last night our 2 year old was casually flipping through Amazon Prime show options on his, I mean our, iPad and he decided to watch ALF. At first I thought it was a hilarious vintage choice, but then I realized, that dude is just 10 kinds of creepy! And probably annoying, too. Guess we can’t win! Funny and oh so true post!

    • Ha! I remember how excited I got when I noticed that the HUB channel was playing reruns of ALF. Then I watched it and realized what a horrible show it really is. I wonder how many other shows I grew up loving are really bad as well. There was no accounting for taste in the 80’s.

  2. Kate Bockhold

    LOL!!! Totally agree with your opinion about Calliou! Thankfully we are moving away from him but into the world of Wild Kratts…

  3. My number one parental objective is to not raise a Calliou.

  4. Know what I find creepy about the new Mickey Mouse? The face that when he turns sideways, his ears are on his forehead and the back/crown of his head. Gotta maintain that “mouse ears” silhouette, anatomy be damned. *shudder*

    I can’t even talk about Cryou.

  5. I remember hating Barney and my kids sneak watching him. That purple thing gave me the willies.

  6. So glad I’m past this phase, but video game music is the new Barney.

  7. There were some good shows too!
    RugRats, Dexter’s Laboratory, Phineas And Ferb.
    Barney, Tele Tubbies were admittedly creepy and annoying but you gotta love them old cartoons!

  8. Alright, alright. When I saw you were doing a post about kids’ shows, I did a ctrl + f for “Arthur,” and I’ve come up empty. Then I actually read the post and saw you didn’t talk about Arthur, which I expected would be a stunning example of non-annoying children’s programming. What happened?

    Where is Arthur????

    • Well, this post is about ANNOYING kids shows…and Arthur doesn’t fit that bill. It is a glorious show with which I can find absolutely nothing wrong. In fact, part of the driving force behind this post is my frustration over the fact that my kids have fallen off the Arthur bandwagon in favor of far more inferior shows. And I’m a little pissy about it. At least they still throw me a bone with some Phineas and Ferb every now and again. Maybe I just didn’t want to talk about Arthur because it’s too painful, okay?

  9. YES, THANK YOU! I am one of those rare people who doesn’t get annoyed by Caillou because, having taught kindergarten, I know that he is absolutely realistic, so getting mad that he exists is like getting mad that kids are just kids. Brobee (and all the other Gabbas, for that matter) DON’T exist, so I will hate them to my heart’s content. Same goes for Abby Cadazy or whatever she is. OMG ABBY JUST TAKE A COUGH DROP.

    • That last bit just make me spit out my cough drop. Well, it would have if I had had a cough drop in my mouth. You get the idea. #abbycaddabyhasasmoker’scough

  10. Like you, I understand this about many childrens’ shows. There’s only one show I will change the channel to avoid and it’s some show about a little entitled brat of a princess who never seems to learn anything about her bad behaviour. See, I’m all for little lessons, morals, anything that gets my Little Mister dancing or singing, educational stuff or stuff that’s genuinely funny (even at toddler level), but I draw the line at shows that make kids think it’s OK to be a little sh*t.

  11. LOL– “I can barely even look at this kid.”

  12. ‘We gotta try new food cause it might taste gooooooood, go-oo-ood!” “Clean up, pick up, put away. Clean up every day!” “When you have to go potty, stop! And go right away. Flush and wash and be on your way.” …just a few of the little ditties i sing to my 2 year old on a regular basis thanks to Daniel Tiger. Not an annoying kid show in my opinion but Grandma disagrees. 🙂

  13. I was driving down the road about 1-2 years ago. From the back of a van hung a rope. At the end of a rope was a noose. In the noose was a stuffed Barney.

  14. I’m so glad my youngest is so I’m awe of Bubble Guppies! I actually love watching it with them. My oldest is into the annoying shows listed though, I’m trying to push her towards Daniel Tiger! She did kick it old school for a while with care bears and my little pony… but I’m not sure how I feel about the last one

    • Bubble Guppies is cute…but that song gets stuck in my head just a tad too easily. Bubble bubble bubble guppie guppie guppies…

      And Care Bears. Oh, be still my heart. When are they going to bring back Rainbow Brite?

      • Haha I’m pretty sure the theme song is so embedded in my mind I only notice if it ISN’T playing in my subconscious!
        Rainbow Brite! I will have to search for that! Maybe they have already!

  15. My husband & I DVR Phineas & Ferb and Gravity Falls, but that means that sometimes the TV is tuned to Disney Channel when we turn it on. So sometimes we get glimpses of these shows, and just…eek.

    • P&F rocks the house. And Gravity Falls is pretty funny, too…but I’m not real big on letting my kids watch that one just yet. They are irreverent enough on their own without picking up more of it from a cartoon.

  16. “We get it, Mickey. It’s your clubhouse, and you like everything to be in the shape of your head.” – Ha! This made me spit my coffee out. Fun! 🙂 Though reading this post got the Doc McStuffins song in my head again, even though you didn’t even mention her… ahhh…

    • The Doc’s okay with me. Did you know that Robbie Rist, the guy who played Cousin Oliver on the Brady Bunch, voices the dragon on that show? I actually met him last year and he was talking about how jazzed he was about being a part of the show. It was cute. He’s a pretty solid musician now as well. Fun fact for the day.

      • I enjoy the Doc, it’s just that the theme song buries into your brain for days and days. But I did not know all the other trivia– awesome! 😀

  17. I laughed hard so many times with this one!! So so so true! It amazes me that most songs that come out of my mouth are from kids shows! I do LOVE LOVE LOVE Daniel Tiger, That show teaches great things and got M & K psyched about cleaning (at least for a little while!) Caillou is NOT aloud at my house! The girls don’t even know what it is!! 🙂

  18. Max and Ruby and Caillou are two of my top shows I can’t stand. I know my kids whine but even when that kid isn’t whining he sounds like he is. AND WHERE THE HECK ARE MAX AND RUBYS PARENTS!!! That is a question that I really think no one will ever be able to answer. Poor kids.
    Love your post it really made me laugh out loud.

  19. […] don’t have blogs. I will save my public outrage for earthquakes, toy fads, annoying kid shows, smug contributors to newspaper columns, Fifty Shades of Grey, ruined Target shopping trips, […]

  20. […] There are many people in this world I have tried to emulate, but I never thought Dora the Explorer would be one of them. Yet, that is exactly who I am about to channel, at the risk of sending half of my readers running from their computers (because, duh, kids shows are annoying). […]

  21. This is so funny and spot on. I think Bo On the Go is the worst… “I can feel your energy!” not to mention the weird wizard they throw in there too 🙂

  22. Bo on the Go i swear. that’s how i found this page. bookmarked. it plays Ska through the whole thing, and is mildly pagan.

I'm Listening...Really.