Things That Make Me Go “AHHHHHHHH!”

Since it is the season of ghosts, here’s a little video for you:

 

Sorry. I had to. It’s Halloween law.

I love Halloween. Plain and simple. First, there’s the candy. Even adults sometimes need a special excuse to gorge themselves on fun size Butterfingers and Snickers. And there’s the dressing up. Halloween is by the far the best reason to slather on the face paint. Finally, there’s the scary movies. Though I can always enjoy a good horror flick any time of the year, pumpkin scented air somehow heightens the cathartic fear I crave.

My husband, on the other hand, hates Halloween for all the above reasons, except the candy. He will swipe a Kit Kat from a trick-or-treating stash faster than you can say “smell my feet.” But he loathes dressing up, so the fact that I have gotten him to do it so many times proves the omnipotence of my womanly wiles. And scary movies? Forget about it. He can’t even watch a commercial for Ghost Hunters. He probably won’t even dare to read this post based on the title. He so wouldn’t survive a zombie apocalypse. I, however, will have my vast knowledge of survival skills, thanks to The Walking Dead.

To me, it’s all in fun. As far as I’m concerned, there are things much scarier than Halloween:

1. The junior girls’ clothing department in most stores. (Oh, the horror!) Don’t go into the bargain basement! The evil hoochie will suck out all your dignity!

2. Being stranded anywhere cold. Or just standing in the cold. Or getting out of bed on a cold morning. Or just thinking about being cold. (Now I’m freaking myself out.)

glacier climbing
He is no doubt shooting the scariest movie I could ever see. This just looks horrific. Quick, someone show me a picture of a beach! (photo by By Chief Warrant Officer 4 Dennis Oglesby [Public domain or Public domain], via Wikimedia Commons)
3. Finding the perfect dress for an out-of-town wedding, traveling to the destination, and then realizing your forgot your Spanx. (I had to cover my eyes for that one.) We’re pushing the envelope of horror here. It’s worse than a slasher film.

4. Thinking your kid had an after-school activity only to get a call that she has been sitting in the parking lot waiting for you to pick her up…and sobbing. (Gasp!) Talk about Nightmare in the Carpool Lane.

5. Over-zealous salespeople at mall kiosks jumping out of nowhere. (No, please! I don’t have a minute to spare! If you let me go I won’t tell anyone! Please, I have children!)

mall kiosk
Look at ’em. Just stalking their prey like Jaws. Watch your appendages or they may end up the victims of sneak attack massages or covered in alien lotions. (By warrenski, Drop dead Dead Sea scum! [CC BY-SA 2.0], via Wikimedia Commons)

6. The guy behind the counter at Qdoba who has absolutely no patience for me deciding which kind of salsa, beans, and cheeses I want adorning my burrito. (My heart is racing with suspenseful, impending doom.) NO TACOS FOR YOU!

Here’s hoping you only encounter ghouls and goblins, and not something worse. Happy Halloween!

7 Responses

  1. Darn. You scared the heck out of me. That was seriously creepy. Thanks for the rush!

  2. Aww. Our Qdoba guy is really sweet! But, then, I try to speak to him in Spanish, which is a horror in itself.

    • Ha! It’s not so much that my guy is mean, he just REALLY likes to keep things moving. So it feels a bit like the Inquisition. I get all nervous and inevitably end up picking the wrong salsa which I then curse with every bite.

  3. Verrrrrry Funny and scary too.

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