An Accidental Bunny Sighting, Among Other Things

Well, it is almost Easter. And that means a trip to the mall to visit the Easter Bunny. Actually, my kids saw the Bunny by accident this year. Since it seems that recently I have the foresight of a possum (they’re blind, people), I was actually surprised to see the Easter gazebo set up when I took the kids to the mall the other day to get Michael fitted for his ring bearer tux for my cousin’s upcoming wedding.

“Mom! The Easter Bunny is here!”

“Already? Oh. I guess Easter is in a couple of days, isn’t it?”

“Can we go get our picture taken?”

I looked at the two of them standing in front of me, not in their Easter best, but in whatever was clean in their closets. Fortunately, their outfits weren’t too horrible, so what the heck?

There was no line, so the photographer told the kids to go ahead and see the Bunny while he finished checking out the family that had just gone. Cool. Well, not so cool. It took the guy a full five or so minutes to finish up with that family. That doesn’t sound very long, you say. And it wouldn’t have been, if my kids were sitting on Santa’s lap. Because Santa can TALK to the kids. The Bunny just sits there and gives thumbs ups and covers his eyes with his hands. So I tried to strike up a one-sided conversation. Awkward. Very awkward. Five whole minutes of awkwardness. And my kids were no help. The children who were jumping beans of excitement just moments ago were now stoic monks who had taken a vow of silence. Tic…tic…tic…

grace-and-michael-with-easter-bunny-2012-revisedFinally, the photographer was ready to take the photo. By some miraculous form of rabbit sign language, the Bunny and I did cook up a sneaky little pose for the picture. And might I say, all the awkward silence was worth it to have a photo of the Easter Bunny giving my unsuspecting kids “bunny ears.” We also got coupons for Auntie Anne’s Pretzels. Bonus!

So as we walked through the mall to get our free pretzels, I started taking note of the stores we passed and realized ones I will likely never patronize, or will begrudgingly patronize.

Abercrombie & Fitch: Any store that blares crappy techno-dance music and declares biological warfare with their overpowering cologne reminiscent of awkward thirteen-year-old boys looking to cop a feel during a slow dance at a mixer OBVIOUSLY cares very little about me having a pleasant shopping experience. And I recall the day after Thanksgiving when a few rather buff young male employees were standing shirtless in the entryway. I realize this was a shrewd marketing ploy to entice female shoppers, but it ended up feeling more like an awkward “To Catch a Predator” setup.

Justice: This store makes me weep inside that I have a little girl who is reaching the age where she cares about fashion…or what she THINKS is fashion. A little on the side of hoochie and a lot on the side of hideous, Justice represents most of what is wrong with clothing trends for little girls. And for some inexplicable reason, the mall by my house has TWO of them, catty corner from each other. The exact same store…doubled. Is there THAT much of a demand for neon tees with graphics of women wearing sunglasses and pouting their lips? Guess what? Little girls don’t need to look like Madonna circa 1985…or Madonna circa 1995…or Madonna circa anytime. So stop telling them this is what is cool. And don’t give me that bull that you supply what the public demands. If you didn’t make it in the first place, the girls wouldn’t know what they were missing. Go take a little walk down the mall to Gymboree and see what any self-respecting mom would buy for her self-respecting young daughter to wear.

Spencer Gifts: Mostly because I’m not in junior high anymore, and I no longer find naughty novelties and black light posters funny or cool.

XXI Forever: You’re not fooling anyone. We know you are still Forever 21. Putting Roman numerals on your sign won’t magically make your clothes of good quality or taste. Besides, on your website you have a “Club” subcategory under “Apparel.” Cla-ssy.

Plaza Frontenac (for those of you not from St. Louis, this would be our “upscale” mall. You must say it with an uppity tone and draw out the ‘a’…”Plaaaaza Frontenac.”): Yes, I am protesting this whole entire mall…mostly because I wear clothes from Target, and not only can the salespeople tell, but they let me know they can tell. However, I do make two exceptions. I will eat at Canyon Cafe, because it is the bomb. And I will go to Williams-Sonoma whenever we get a gift card from my husband’s aunt and uncle for Christmas. Because who am I to turn down free money towards some super cool stuff? And the gift card kind of explains the clothes from Target anyway. Maybe on my next trip to “The Plaza”  I’ll pull out my one shirt I own from Ann Taylor, thanks to the outlet mall.

But boy, those were some good pretzels. I hope since God raised Jesus from the dead to give us eternal life, he also bought into the Auntie Anne’s franchise and put one of those suckers in Heaven. Can I hear a Hallelujah? Oh wait, not yet…we’ve still got two more days before we can say that. My bad.

A blessed Easter to one and all…unless you’re Jewish. Then a blessed Passover…unless you’re atheist. Then bummer…no Easter candy for you. But have a good weekend anyway.

9 Responses

  1. I hear you…I do. I’m quite sad to report that I just shopped tonight at Justice with my 9 year old. I was sad when she said Gymboree clothes were too “girly and frilly”. We did find her a cute dress that is appropriate for her age. Luckily for me, she has a good sense of what’s not appropriate for her to wear (and has no qualms about pointing it out, sometimes, too!)

    • Good for you for obviously teaching her well in the ways of fashion. It’s actually a very underrated quality in parenting. I know not EVERYTHING in Justice is horrible, I just don’t have the time or energy to sift through all the crap to find the few cute things. I am happy to see that it seems little girls fashions are starting moving away from the hoochie-style…it was getting pretty bad there for awhile. But now it just seems to be dominated by ugly. Or by convincing them they need to start dressing like teenagers already. I just wish our society would let little girls be little girls for awhile. We mamas need to stick together. Thanks for the comment!

  2. Summer Nimz

    So this reminds me that my kids won’t get to see the Easter bunny this year – oops! But I did enjoy reading this while eating a Cadbury Egg – yum! Hope you have a great Easter!

    • Summer, you know, that’s really not such a bad thing. We didn’t visit the Bunny last year, mostly because I knew Michael would freak out at the sight of him. I must admit I was kind of surprised that he wanted to sit on the Bunny’s lap this year. But you got the better deal out of this…I may have seen the Bunny, but you got the Cadbury Egg! You all have a wonderful Easter as well!

  3. I am so glad you pointed out the “bunny ears”. I thought he was just being rude! The kids look great in their “whatever they are wearing” togs!
    Yeah, its good to be aware of the “latest fashion for kids” that turns into the “must have” for teens! The experience of the teens I talk to in Right Start classes seems to be they feel “up against it” when shopping for anything modest. For sure, the girls don’t have a clue about how the guys view them when they are just buying the latest fashion!
    Oh, you packed a lot into this blog!! By the way, Happy Easter, everyone!

    • Ha! No, the Bunny had my permission for the “bunny ears.” While we were waiting for the photographer, the bunny was doing it just as a joke, and I said, “You should do that for the picture.” The Bunny wasn’t sure I was serious, so when it was time for the photo, he kept giving me this questionable thumbs up like, “You REALLY want me to do this?” I nodded, so he did. The photographer was not aware of our agreement and wanted to take another picture, kind of chiding the Bunny to do one “without the fingers.” But I told the photographer he was doing it at my request. In regards to the fashion, I do think it’s getting easier to find more tasteful clothes. I remember when Grace first grew into the “older girls” section, and I wanted to cry. But I have noticed more and more options that are acceptable, in more and more stores. So at least that’s a good thing.

  4. […] clad middle school girls (yes, sadly, even Irish girls dress like o’tramps). You know the smell I’m talking about. It is the smell that can actually offend all five of your senses every time you go the mall. That […]

  5. […] To Wear: Another easy one. I’m getting my daughter anything that doesn’t read Justice on tag. My son will be getting some new uniform pants that actually cover his […]

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