Ode To My New Dishwasher

We have had our new dishwasher for exactly one week. My 20-year-old self would find me incredibly lame because, well, it has probably been the highlight of the last seven days…even taking into account the facts that I had a frosty from Wendy’s on Monday AND I allowed myself to buy the double-stuffed Oreos instead of the reduced-fat ones at the grocery store on Thursday. I know. Just add this to the list of things I never said when I was twenty-four.

After telling Michael almost every day to NOT stand on the dishwasher door, we let him jump on the old one all he wanted while we waited for the new one to be delivered.

So yeah, this new dishwasher is pretty rad, mostly because I don’t have to pre-rinse the dishes before I put them in. That’s right. No cleaning my dishes by hand in order to have them cleaned by a machine. I have to say I was a little skeptical when my brother-in-law Ryan, who used to be a contractor, told us that is what we could expect when we asked him his opinion on which dishwasher we should buy. But I still thought that surely a dishwasher couldn’t be THAT good. But it is. It even got off dried-on smoothie, which was my old dishwasher’s mortal enemy.

So out of gratitude for this simple pleasure in life, I give you “Ode To My New Dishwasher:”

I thought no pre-rinsing was only true in fairy tales

Meant for rich people, but not for me

Baked-on food was out to get me (duh-doo-doo-doo-doo)

Detergent spots don’t gleam (duh-doo-doo-doo-doo)

Rewashing forks haunted all my dreams


Then I got my Bosch

Now I’m a believer

Not a speck

Of gunk on my knives

My dishes are clean (ooooooooo ahhhhhhh)

I’m a believer, I couldn’t clean it better with my hands

But for the record, I still hate doing dishes. I’ll write a novella about the dishwasher that can remedy that.

4 Responses

  1. Maggie Singleton

    LOVE it, Kelly. And so true… why should only the rich people get all the fun of a machine that can eliminate caked-on smoothie! You’re so stinkin clever : )

    • kelloggs77

      Thanks, Maggie. But you know what that means…if I can afford a dishwasher that cleans dried-on smoothie, then rich people dishwashers probably have a setting that puts the dishes away too!

  2. Jen Summers

    Congratulations! I have sung my fair-share of Hallelujah’s to my Bosch. Ah…and you forgot that they are so quiet that you can actually have a conversation in the kitchen with the dishwasher running! No more waiting til the entire house leaves or goes to bed to run the dishwasher!

    • kelloggs77

      Oh yes…how quiet it is. Which is a double bonus for us because our kitchen and family room are basically the same room. So running it doesn’t interfere with the riveting dialogue of “Real Housewives of Anything.”

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