We have had our new dishwasher for exactly one week. My 20-year-old self would find me incredibly lame because, well, it has probably been the highlight of the last seven days…even taking into account the facts that I had a frosty from Wendy’s on Monday AND I allowed myself to buy the double-stuffed Oreos instead of the reduced-fat ones at the grocery store on Thursday. I know. Just add this to the list of things I never said when I was twenty-four.
So yeah, this new dishwasher is pretty rad, mostly because I don’t have to pre-rinse the dishes before I put them in. That’s right. No cleaning my dishes by hand in order to have them cleaned by a machine. I have to say I was a little skeptical when my brother-in-law Ryan, who used to be a contractor, told us that is what we could expect when we asked him his opinion on which dishwasher we should buy. But I still thought that surely a dishwasher couldn’t be THAT good. But it is. It even got off dried-on smoothie, which was my old dishwasher’s mortal enemy.
So out of gratitude for this simple pleasure in life, I give you “Ode To My New Dishwasher:”
I thought no pre-rinsing was only true in fairy tales
Meant for rich people, but not for me
Baked-on food was out to get me (duh-doo-doo-doo-doo)
Detergent spots don’t gleam (duh-doo-doo-doo-doo)
Rewashing forks haunted all my dreams
Then I got my Bosch
Now I’m a believer
Not a speck
Of gunk on my knives
My dishes are clean (ooooooooo ahhhhhhh)
I’m a believer, I couldn’t clean it better with my hands
But for the record, I still hate doing dishes. I’ll write a novella about the dishwasher that can remedy that.